A Guide to Setting Boundaries
jackson • 25 November 2020
We have all heard of boundaries. These come up soooo often in client sessions.
We all have boundaries. Some loose, some tight, some non-negotiable and some that are only a mere imprint of what once was, or even non-existent. Some that we didn’t even know existed until someone actually crossed them. So what exactly are boundaries and why are they important to set?
A boundary is a limit or a space between you and another person.
A boundary is not a way to control other people, and we can’t create boundaries for other people. Boundaries are created for ourselves and they allow us to separate who we are and what we think and feel from the thoughts and feelings of others. Setting a boundary is way to protect and take good care of yourself. Because you are the most important person.
Wait, what? No, that’s selfish… I hear you say… and that is a response I hear often. To quote Jimi Hunt from his book Inside Out
(great read by the way – active and intentional) … “The definition of selfish is to put yourself first to the detriment of others. I’m not asking you to do that. I’m asking you to put yourself first for the benefit of others”.
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